Exhausted

The past 18 days have been a whirl wind. In 18 days I've made 4 trips to Tulsa, a trip to Dallas, and and a short trip to Miami, OK. I came home last night more emotionally and physically exhausted than I ever remember being. I barely managed to eat dinner and shower before crashing in bed. This morning I took Mason to daycare since he missed yesterday and scheduled a 30 minute facial and 1 hour body massage for Saturday. My mom gave me money for a massage for Christmas, and I'm glad I hadn't used it yet. I decided to go ahead and blog about the past 18 days today or it wouldn't get done.
So 18 days ago I got a call from my dad that my grandpa's health had gone downhill fast and he wasn't gonna make it much longer (he had been in the hospital already for a week). So we left the next day to see him in the hospital and say our good-byes. Unfortunately he was out of it, and I don't know if he even knew we were there. We stayed there several hours and then went home. The next day (monday) Kayla went to see him, and she said he was awake and able to move his hands and mumble at you (although you couldn't understand him). So Mason and I loaded into the car and made another trip over see him, and I'm so glad I did. While he was tiring out by the time I got there I know he knew were there because he clasped my hand and tried to talk to me. Throughout that week family started pouring in from all over...Colorado, Minnesota, Texas, and Oklahoma. They had 6 kids...3 of them were their nephews and niece whom they adopted at the age of 3,6, and 9 when their parent died in a car crash. They have 15 grandkids (2 were unable to come) and 4 great grandkids.

That following Saturday Zac and I went back to Tulsa since all the family (minus 2 grandkids) was there...it is a rare occasion for us to all be together. I'm so glad grandpa held on long enough to see everyone, and I think everyone had a moment when they knew grandpa knew they were there. The following week he was out of it most of the time and hospice had taken over. I left Thursday to go to Dallas. I had already planned to visit one of my best friends from college who has a son Mason's age and to go to IKEA. I knew a funeral was on the horizon, but still wanted to go. Friday in Dallas I got the call that grandpa and moved on to a better place, but I stayed there since the funeral wasn't until Tuesday. So we went to Tulsa again yesterday as well as Miami, OK to the cemetery. On top of being sad over losing a very close grandpa (my first grandparent to lose) I had also been worried about a couple people very dear to me that are going through some heartbreaking times...not to mention being an emotional 6 month preggo. Needless to say the lack of sleep, stress, emotions, and cold hit me like a ton of bricks yesterday.

When I went to bed I had a 100 degree temperature, but after sleeping for 11 hours I a lot better. Before I get to the pictures, I will say I am thankful to see how God has been there during these times. My grandpa lived to a ripe age of 81 which is much longer than they originally thought. He lived a great life dedicated to the Lord and to his family. The Wednesday before all this happened I heard a lesson at our women's class at church that prepared my heart for all this. It was about when Jesus wept. He didn't necessarily weep at Lazarus' death (because he knew he would be healed), he wept because he felt the pain in sweet Mary's heart and well as the others. It is comforting to know that there is a God who truly aches for and with us. I've posted some pictures from the past year or so. Unfortunately I didn't take a picture of Mason with him the last 2 or 3 times we saw him (I'm kicking myself for the that now!) Mason loved his great Grandpa Bean. Mason is pretty stingy with kisses, but he would always give him and a hug and kiss.

Grandpa Bean was a wonderful hands-on grandpa who will be greatly missed.