Troubled

Well, it's almost midnight, and I can't sleep.  It has been a whirlwind of emotions the past couple of days.  We got a call on Wednesday that our home study was finally finished and ready to be picked up Thursday.  When we went to get it Thursday, it turns out the wrong license was printed for our social worker so she was going to mail us the correct one (I'm hoping it will be here on Monday).  The h.s. took a couple extra weeks longer than we thought, but I'm sure this is only the first of many hang-ups we'll encounter in this process.
On Friday I couldn't help but thinking "It is well with my soul..."  My soul was over flowing with thankfulness.  Our church has agreed to let us have an event to raise support and awareness about adoption along with our other friends from church who are adopting.  On top of that, I found out there are about 6 families that I know of who live around here that are adopting from Congo.  Thursday I met with 3 of the moms, and it was so nice getting to know them!  I'm sure this will be the first of many get togethers I'm sure we'll have.  I found out a bit ago that my cousin is adopting from Congo!  She lives about an hour and a half away, and I've really enjoyed talking with her about all this.  It will be so wonderful for our daughters to grow up together!

Right now some ladies from our agency are in Congo to meet with foster families, lawyers, and others involved in the process.  They are also delivering supplies and care packages to orphanges and children who have been adopted through them, but are still waiting on paperwork to be complete.  It is awesome to see the excitement of the parents' on our private group seeing several pictures of their children being loved on by these ladies.  But a deep part of my soul is also saddened because there are also MANY children in the pictures who do not have a parent waiting on them.  The things we read and saw brought both Zac and I to tears.   I can't post the pictures because they are not mine to post, but this is one we've been told we can repost...mostly because none of the children are currently being adopted.  While it seems to be one of the "nicer" orphanges (compared to pictures of some of the other ones), still there was not enough food for all the children.  Their meal was a chunk of bread, and it was only given to the younger ones because they ran out.  The older ones are fed last because they can survive longer without food. Thankfully they were there so they bought more bread for the rest of the kids to eat that day. 

One lady was posting about their visits today (yesterday), and mentioned how overwhelmed she was with how bad things are.  This is when it gets a little harder to keep singing, "it is well with my soul".  Don't get me wrong, I look forward to the day when there is no more suffereing, but my heart breaks for these kids who are dealing with disease, starvation, abandoment, etc right now.   Is a large house, fancy things, and big nest egg/retirement worth it at the cost of these children?  For a long time we were content giving 10% of our money to God, but do we really need the other 90%.  While I was rocking and loving on my boys a little more than normal tonight it just really sunk in what a great life we have, and made me think what more can I do to make someone else's life a little better.  Anyway....that's enough rambling.  It is WAY past my bedtime.